No Boundaries November: Hate On Me/Feel My Destiny

As ripples head towards normality, a tidal wave of resistance and hate will try to defend the well-structured bubble. Let the wave wash over you, and the ripple will guide you through the storm -- in time the bubble will burst, and nothing will be the same.~~

Jealousy and hate are two things that drive the primitive nature of a simplistic life. Why strive to be someone else, when you could be the perfect you? Why tear down the success of others, when you could focus on creating your own? WHY waste your time to continually call my phone to try and break my pride? Let me just tell you, my stride cannot be broken so you might as well step off of me. Since I started this safe haven for myself and all of you, there has also been a select few that have tried to extinguish my flame. Oh, but this is not just any flame. This is an inferno. An inferno that has been brewing for nineteen long years. Nineteen years of hard work and sweat. Nineteen years of stored energy. And now it has been unleashed. And you think that words can bring me down? Wrong.

For the longest, I thought that if I took the time to address this issue, I would be giving power to the stupidity that is...but now I realize that this is a message we ALL need to hear. There is a pollution in the air -- and it is hatred. We must be our own filtration system and not allow external factors to effect our internal affairs. In order to do this, we must discover our own greatness. It takes time, but once you discover your destiny, your purpose, nothing will ever be the same. Words will never break you again -- hate will never bring you down. You will never be a product of hate because when you have this revelation, you understand the journey. You will understand the journey that we all must take to reach our highest calling. We are all meant for something special, but it takes an awareness of our greatness -- our destiny. We are destined for perfection, but we also must be clear that perfection is something we should not search for. Perfection is not something people can teach you. It isn't something that people can deem you. You were born into this world perfect. Perfectly crafted, perfectly molded, perfectly painted. Don't let anyone tell you different -- even yourself. While others can be the cause of our pain, we can dish ourselves the worst torture of all. Stop bringing yourself down! Stop allotting yourself second rate experiences, half ass friendships, and hand me down success. Your life is not meant for mediocrity, it should be a testament of success, spontaneity, and amazing life experiences. Don't put your destiny on the back burner, because when you do, that is when you become vulnerable to the hate. Hate will creep into your life when you forget to see yourself as the beautiful being that you are. Hate will creep into your life when you lose sight of your own destiny.

So let me just conclude with a message to everyone who has hated on me, and will hate on me in my future. I have been called a dumb nigger, a piece of shit, dirt underneath your feet. You have tried to label me as fake, a mistake, a walking disgrace, a fat ass, a walking piece of trash. I will give you credit, you almost broke me a LONG time ago, but years have past and I have shed my skin many times. I have created a barrier of love for myself and my destiny. I see my future and there is nothing that you can say or do to bring me down. I have continued to break through the bubbles that you have created for me and the rest of this world. So go ahead on hate on me! I am going to continue to do me, and that means stomping on every stereotype that you give me. Feel my destiny as it washes away the hate that you through on me. Feel my destiny as it changes this world. Feel my destiny as I continue to be a face of motivation and inspiration. I know my worth, I know my purpose, and I know my destiny. I am here for something greater, and I don't have time for the lesser. I pray that you discover your true purpose in life, because this is not it. But until then, continue to hate on me, because it only makes my fire grow stronger. I will continue to be the best me I can be right now, and I will strive to be even greater in my future. My ambitious daydreams will be heard around the world, and there is nothing you can do to stop this ripple. Your well-crafted bubble will be burst, and I will gladly be the one holding the needle.
~~

Thank you everyone who has supported my vision, and helped me spread the word that loving yourself is the key to success and our true purpose in life. Our destiny is our greatest weapon, and once we find it, no weapon formed against us shall prosper.

No Boundaries November: Words (written by Bianca Bejar)

First of all I want to start off by introducing myself. My name is Bianca and I’m a friend of Deme’s here at University of Washington. Although I don’t have any blogging experience, I’m thankful Demetrius asked me to join him on this adventure. Hopefully I can make some good contributions and add a different perspective to things.

For my first post and going along with the theme of No Boundaries November I wanted to talk about words. When I say words I mean both the culturally insensitive use of certain words as well as the power of words. Now anyone that knows me knows I’m pretty passionate about this topic and it’s one I personally try to work against and raise awareness amongst those around me.

Living in Seattle as well as attending UW, I have been blessed to be surrounded by such a diverse population; people from different walks of life, different religions, different countries and cultural backgrounds, different social classes, and my favorite, different sexual orientations. One of the difficulties about being surrounded by such different people is remembering to be culturally sensitive and watching the things you say. As a society we have become so comfortable with casually throwing around certain words and phrases without thinking about how it may impact or offend those around us. Words like retarded, gay, faggot, nigga and phrases like “I’m going to kill myself” or “I got raped by.” Retarded and gay shouldn’t be used to describe things that are dumb or stupid or that you don’t like because you are associating a population to a negative meaning. By using those words to express negative feelings towards something you are saying that being special needs and gay are bad things. Words like faggot and the N-word are words that are offensive to the queer and Black community respectively. Many people believe that because the word is used within those communities that it is ok for everyone else to use when in fact that isn’t the case. The community that is affected by such words has control over it.

Now while the use of these words is offensive and insensitive, there is much more awareness about it. When it comes to the phrase I mentioned before, they are used maybe not more often but certainly with less resistance. Casually saying you’re going to kill yourself is extremely insensitive to those who have struggled with depression, suicidal thoughts, and suicidal attempts. Personally, I think it’s understandable to want to use such a phrase to express extreme frustration or annoyance or whatever it may be but it certainly isn’t acceptable. As someone who has struggled with these types of thoughts I know how difficult it is to hear people take something so lightly when it’s something that’s tearing you apart inside. Likewise, saying “I got raped by…” an exam or a game or a class, it is extremely insensitive to those whom have been raped. Using such a phrase fuels rape culture which is something we should not feed in to.

These words and phrases all belong to the bigger picture of our insensitivity to those around us and the belittling of the impact of words. Many times, we use words to hurt people on purpose or say that we’re just joking but we also don’t always realize how big of an impact it truly to makes. Anyone who has ever been bullied knows that the saying “sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can never hurt you” is certainly not true. Words can be one of the most hurtful weapons and the problem. Words create bruises and scars, just like a stick or a stone, but the problem is that they aren’t always seen. When I was little I was teased and bullied almost every day. I would constantly come home crying but I wouldn’t talk to anyone because I was so ashamed, it got to the point where I didn’t even want to go to school and I honestly hated myself. Many times we focus more on children because it is a huge issue and they are so innocent and don’t like to see them hurt, but it is just as much of an issue with teens and even young adults. Despite the fact that I went through that, as I grew up I began making jokes at the expense of other people. I soon realized I was becoming exactly like those whom I resented. These days, I try to be as sensitive as I can but I will admit I still slip up. My point is, whether you’ve experienced being hurt by words or not, it’s easy to fall into that pattern where you use hurtful words.

Whether it be offensive, culturally insensitive, jokes, or just flat out hurtful and malicious words, we should all try to be a little more aware and attempt to change. It’s definitely not easy and it takes a while to break the habit but just being aware of the impact of what you say is a step in the right direction. I used to use words like retarded and gay all the time, I was probably one of the worst, but as I became more conscious of how it made others feel, I eliminated the negative use of those words in my day-to-day conversations. Stopping yourself from using those words the wrong way isn’t the end though, you have to raise awareness to those around you. Spread the Word to End the Word is a great campaign for the R-word but it is also applicable to the use of the words gay, fag, and the N-word. A little sensitivity and awareness is all you need to make a change.

Thank you all for reading this, I hope you enjoyed it and that it got you thinking a little bit. Please leave a comment and let us know how you felt about the post or me writing on here in general. Maybe you’ll see more from me in the future!  :)

No Boundaries November: Bridegroom/Love

This weekend I had the opportunity to have time to myself and think about life, where I am going, just enjoy my own company. This is something I normally cannot do, so when I get the chance I pounce on it. In this time, I decided to watch Bridegroom, a movie I had been dying to see for weeks. This movie brought me to a hysterical sob. It struck me at a very personal spot. This movie is powerful beyond belief, and everyone should find the time to watch it.  Go buy it, watch it on Netflix, find it somewhere and become educated on the age old story of true love. 

Just so we are all clear, I am a believer in love. I am a believer in finding that person that makes you feel like life has so much more to offer. That person that makes your eyes gloss over from the high of euphoria. That person that makes you smile even when you want to throw a pan at their head. Your soul mate. I believe that love does not have a label. It is not just an emotion -- it is an ability. You exercise your ability to love when you connect with that special person. You exercise your ability to love when you make lifelong connections with your closest friends. You exercise your ability when you promote love for others.

Bridegroom is a movie about two men who found their purpose of life through each other. Two men that were each other's saving grace. They found each other at the most perfect time, and created the most perfect connection. Unfortunately, life dealt them some terrible cards, (this is not a spoiler) and one of them lost their life. From there, situations became more tense as the surviving partner tried to commemorate the others life at the expense of a family unwilling to accept their son's sexuality. A family unwilling to accept their child.

If you have followed me thus far, you know that I am person of Christian faith. I believe in God. But I don't believe in preaching hate, or not allowing love to run rapid through the universe. As the age old saying goes, God is LOVE. Love is not just something meant only for a man or a woman. It is a human thing. It is an ability meant to keep us closer to the greater. But for some reason, there are people who ridicule and attempt with their every bit of self to destroy other human beings for being themselves. That may seem harsh, but that is what you are doing when you shame someone for just being them. There are thousands of children right now struggling to figure themselves out, just trying to catch a break. I was one of those kids. I had an entire group of people telling me who I was, who I could love. And because of this, I almost took my own life. I could not bare the idea of being what they screamed as they stomped me into the ground. I couldn't bare the idea of being a walking sin, a disgrace to the world. That is what people have to feel because they are afraid of accepting who they are.

We are beings of love. We were created through love, whether it only be for that moment or an eternity. We are all put on this earth to figure out this lifelong mystery of love. It is beyond me how people can openly cast out others for trying to discover the meaning of life -- to love. We are supposed to love when we walk into our workplace. We our supposed to love when we embrace our families. We are supposed to love when we come into contact with things we cannot explain. We are supposed love. Loving each and every person for who they are is hard, I know this, but we cannot stop others from discovering the beauty that is life. We are supposed to raise each other up in our times of need. We are meant to climb the mountaintops and throw a rope down to help the others behind us. I understand that homosexuality may not be something you support, it may not be something that you want to be a part of. But let me just say that while you have the luxury of showing public displays of affection, legally binding yourself to your love, and being protected by law, other human beings are denied such simple constructs.

I guess what I really want to drive to you all with this post is that life is hard. Hell, we all have our struggles, getting up in the morning can sometimes be the hardest thing. But one thing we should never have to struggle with, is accepting ourselves. That should be the easiest task of all. Be the change in this world and just spread the love. Homosexuality is a topic we all may not understand, but just because we do not understand, does not give us the right to beat down a group of people that is already struggling. As someone who has been on the other side, I am telling you that what you find as harmless mockery can be the most harmful blow you can throw. Just remember that we are all beings of love, just trying to achieve our programming. We are programmed to love, and there is nothing we can do to stop it.

We must raise each other up, even when life gets hard. We must raise each other up in times of need. We must raise each other when it feels like there is no hope. We are the problem AND the solution. Spread the love that this world needs.

No Boundaries November: Stereotypes

STEREOTYPE

a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing.

We are all given stereotypes at sometime in our lives. Our race, ethnicity, size, aesthetics, sexuality, religion...stereotypes are the dark side of society. I have been dealt a great deal of adversity in my lifetime all deriving from the twisted source that is an oversimplified idea about who I am, where I come from -- what I am capable of. People can tell you that you can't do something because you're too black, too white, too fat, too skinny, too nerdy, too introverted, too tall, too short, too gay, too religious...the list goes on and on. But let me just say this one thing to you all. Stereotypes are a fixed part society, they come from ignorance. When people do not understand something they look to their television screens, to pop culture websites, even the news -- ALL places not worthy of such research. Media is the biggest promoter of stereotypes. We live in a world where a death can't make prime-time news unless it has enough "shock factor," enough wow to make viewer ratings go up. So please, don't try to learn about me and my culture through your media venues. You will come out thinking that I am supposed to only love rap music, that because I am slightly larger that I am not agile, flexible, athletic in any way, that just because I am black I will not be successful or have the potential to be a millionaire. Well let me tell you something, all my life have been called something. Lazy, stupid, gay, nigger, loser, white-washed. But none of that matters. Look at where I am! I am at the University of Washington, working in a worldly known graduate lab as an undergraduate! My point is, throw whatever stereotype you want at me -- give me a challenge! I will twist and turn your mind until you see that I am nothing like the person you saw on tv, nothing like that cookie cutter image of a young black man in society that makes you feel secure. We shouldn't have to give groups of people labels to make ourselves feel comfortable.

This past weekend I watched an episode of Oprah's Next Chapter with Rob Bell and I was enlightened by something that he said. "We're wired for the mysterious. We love it. We're drawn to it. You can't stifle it." This is beyond true in every way. We as humans have a need to understand the mysterious -- what we cannot explain. We want the easiest way to find out the truth, to find out how we all tick. Unfortunately, sometimes we crave it so much that we take short cuts to get a quick gratification for our guilty pleasures. This is where stereotypes come from. We don't want to have to do the work to figure out each every person in this world, so we give oversimplified labels to something beautiful -- our originality. 

A war is what we are fighting. Get your weapons ready because the army's shadow has already cast over the horizon. Brace yourselves. Do your research, find out what the past has brought us before. Read about your culture, where you come from, and find out for yourself where you are going -- AND FIGHT FOR IT. We all need a reason to fight, and I know for damn sure that my future is enough for me, what about you? Do you have enough ambition to stand up against ignorance, to make people see that you are one of a kind? We are perfection: perfectly crafted, perfectly sculpted, perfectly painted -- a work of art. Don't let stereotypes make you forget, if you do, then this war has already been lost.

Listen to this, listen to the lyrics, you are a Warrior. You are an Ambitious Daydreamer.