Let's Take A Long Walk

I really want to take this time to really share my deepest feelings with all of you right now. Is that okay? Yes? Ooooooh okay let's get started then! haha

For the past five years of my life I have been held back by many things in my personal life. Whether it be my insecurities, my lack of confidence, or my residual feelings for past partners...they all have stopped me from taking advantage of beautiful experiences in my life. I was like a "bag man", dragging all of that baggage down the street, just trying to make it to the next bus stop...missing bus after bus just trying to get to my next destination. I let my relaxation in a shitty cycle screw up my situation, and halt my education on myself and what I deserve in my revelation of life. Better yet, I would call this a renaissance. A renaissance of my mind, body, and soul. Year after year, I waited for that moment with that one person, and I realize now that one situation's ending maybe be the catalyst I needed to see what is really in front of me. So here I am, wanting to take a long walk around the park. I am ready to put another before my self. Ready to dive deep into their oceans and be fully immersed in their every emotion. I want to take a stroll through someone else's mind for a change. I mean, who knows who it will be, when it will happen, how it will go...but honestly, none of that really matters to me. The fact that I am in a better place than where I once was -- praise the Lord! I love myself, AND I know what I want. I know I can have it. I know I deserve it, but I am not reliant on IT! I want that connection, but I don't need this connection to connect my pieces. I am my own finished puzzle beautifully crafted and solved by me...but we can start another if you are up for the challenge -- just you and I. Taking on the world when it says "no." Igniting each others fires, allowing them to burst into a effervescent inferno. Captivating, exciting, unpredictable...capable of the impossible. That is what our love will be like. Flexible, malleable, but never broken. With you I will be living life like it is golden: a life fit for the highest of the high. A life destined for you and I. With you I will feel like I am in tune with myself, simply by hearing everything that is you. Let me hear your symphony.

Gumption

When I think about all of the amazing things and people that have come into my life one things seems to always run constant: it all has been driven by gumption. Gumption is the act of taking initiative; having courage, spunk, guts. Gumption is what brings all happiness into my life. Looking back on my life I realize that without this, I would not be at the University of Washington, I wouldn't have the friends that I have...ultimately, I wouldn't be the person I am today. This is something worth expanding on...how is it that this one word sums up everything that I am and ever will be?

With that in mind...here is a quick video expanding on these thoughts! I hope you enjoy it, and I am sorry for the quality!

Worth It

Today I want to vent to you guys, I sure hope you are all okay with that...if not, you already clicked the link so just go ahead and read it anyway. Haha

This morning I am a little bothered with a specific construct in this crazy thing called life -- money. Growing up, it was something I never really paid attention to, it was just something my parents took out of some thing called a bank and then we did fun stuff. So I guess way back then I created this unconscious idea that money would bring happiness, that it would bring my greatest joys...Today, money is something I absolutely dread talking about, something I actually hate to use. Now I know that seems weird and not "economically correct", but my hatred for money goes a lot deeper than just a frugal idea. Money is the one thing that has continuously tried to keep me from my future. How is it that a piece of paper can determine where you will go, and just how successful you will be? I envy those who do not have to worry, I respect that luxury so much. Mind you I am not throwing a pity party, I am just making an observation. Apparently, the only way I can better myself and my education is to pay thousands of dollars....BUT FOR WHAT?! Why am I being penalized for wanting to be successful? Why do I have to struggle every third damn week of the new quarter? How is it that I am seen as a monetary gain rather than a person who just wants to learn? Ultimately, I am just bothered. I do well in school, I work so hard, but then that tuition and housing bill comes in and then it feels like I am right back at square one. This constant back and forth is what brings me my lowest days and my highest. It is beyond confusing as you can imagine -- I know a lot of you can. I just wish college was something that was attainable for everyone. When I look at my graduating class, the main reason why anyone ever said they weren't going to college was because of the money -- that is powerful. A green piece of paper has that much power in our lives...enough power to make us turn away from what we really want. And what really gets to me, is that there is NOTHING we can do to change this power that money has gained. 

What do I know for sure?

I know that no matter how many no's I am given, whether it be from FAFSA, my peers, haters, friends, even family, I can not and will not stop fighting for my future. I have been through too much, I have seen too many let go of their dreams...I refuse to be another tick on the unemployment graph. I refuse to let a piece of damn paper tell me what I can do with myself. I know my talents, my strengths, my purpose in this life, and no matter how many times life brings me down I will always get back up ready for another fight. Bring on the next quarter, hell I have struggled every single one...and I am still here! Bring on another person telling me I won't make it, give me more motivation to keep this blog going! Bring on whatever you want to try and diminish my pride in myself and my future...I will consistently counter with everything I have. What do I know for sure? I know that the struggle I am fighting right now with money and school is only temporary. I don't care what it takes, UW is where I will be graduating from, and my words will be heard all around the world. This struggle is nothing but a blip in this story I am writing for myself.

It'll all be worth it in the end.

Goodbye 2013!

2013...it's been real! 

This post has given me so much trouble, BUT finally here it is! I hope you all enjoy the video because it took forever to compile! Before you watch it, let me leave you with some quotes, written by myself, to get your new year started! 

"Don't let the mess of life stop you from acquiring the greatness it is ready to provide you, pick up your broom and sweep out the garbage, only then will you see the perfection life can bring."

"Life can sometimes seem boring and mundane, but when you are constantly working towards a greater self, newer and more exciting adventures will always come your way."

"Stop worrying about what other people are doing, worry about what YOU are doing to make your life as successful as possible."

"When life approaches you with a storm of negativity, head straight to the airport and get on the next flight to a place of solace."

"Acceptance and openness to new ideas is rare...step outside the norm and be different."

"Dreams are meant for those who see a reality that does not function the way they see fit. So I daydream -- I daydream ambitiously in order to create the world I wish to live in."

With that here is the link to my video! 2013 Review