This morning I am a little bothered with a specific construct in this crazy thing called life -- money. Growing up, it was something I never really paid attention to, it was just something my parents took out of some thing called a bank and then we did fun stuff. So I guess way back then I created this unconscious idea that money would bring happiness, that it would bring my greatest joys...Today, money is something I absolutely dread talking about, something I actually hate to use. Now I know that seems weird and not "economically correct", but my hatred for money goes a lot deeper than just a frugal idea. Money is the one thing that has continuously tried to keep me from my future. How is it that a piece of paper can determine where you will go, and just how successful you will be? I envy those who do not have to worry, I respect that luxury so much. Mind you I am not throwing a pity party, I am just making an observation. Apparently, the only way I can better myself and my education is to pay thousands of dollars....BUT FOR WHAT?! Why am I being penalized for wanting to be successful? Why do I have to struggle every third damn week of the new quarter? How is it that I am seen as a monetary gain rather than a person who just wants to learn? Ultimately, I am just bothered. I do well in school, I work so hard, but then that tuition and housing bill comes in and then it feels like I am right back at square one. This constant back and forth is what brings me my lowest days and my highest. It is beyond confusing as you can imagine -- I know a lot of you can. I just wish college was something that was attainable for everyone. When I look at my graduating class, the main reason why anyone ever said they weren't going to college was because of the money -- that is powerful. A green piece of paper has that much power in our lives...enough power to make us turn away from what we really want. And what really gets to me, is that there is NOTHING we can do to change this power that money has gained.
What do I know for sure?
I know that no matter how many no's I am given, whether it be from FAFSA, my peers, haters, friends, even family, I can not and will not stop fighting for my future. I have been through too much, I have seen too many let go of their dreams...I refuse to be another tick on the unemployment graph. I refuse to let a piece of damn paper tell me what I can do with myself. I know my talents, my strengths, my purpose in this life, and no matter how many times life brings me down I will always get back up ready for another fight. Bring on the next quarter, hell I have struggled every single one...and I am still here! Bring on another person telling me I won't make it, give me more motivation to keep this blog going! Bring on whatever you want to try and diminish my pride in myself and my future...I will consistently counter with everything I have. What do I know for sure? I know that the struggle I am fighting right now with money and school is only temporary. I don't care what it takes, UW is where I will be graduating from, and my words will be heard all around the world. This struggle is nothing but a blip in this story I am writing for myself.
It'll all be worth it in the end.
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