For the past five years of my life I have been held back by many things in my personal life. Whether it be my insecurities, my lack of confidence, or my residual feelings for past partners...they all have stopped me from taking advantage of beautiful experiences in my life. I was like a "bag man", dragging all of that baggage down the street, just trying to make it to the next bus stop...missing bus after bus just trying to get to my next destination. I let my relaxation in a shitty cycle screw up my situation, and halt my education on myself and what I deserve in my revelation of life. Better yet, I would call this a renaissance. A renaissance of my mind, body, and soul. Year after year, I waited for that moment with that one person, and I realize now that one situation's ending maybe be the catalyst I needed to see what is really in front of me. So here I am, wanting to take a long walk around the park. I am ready to put another before my self. Ready to dive deep into their oceans and be fully immersed in their every emotion. I want to take a stroll through someone else's mind for a change. I mean, who knows who it will be, when it will happen, how it will go...but honestly, none of that really matters to me. The fact that I am in a better place than where I once was -- praise the Lord! I love myself, AND I know what I want. I know I can have it. I know I deserve it, but I am not reliant on IT! I want that connection, but I don't need this connection to connect my pieces. I am my own finished puzzle beautifully crafted and solved by me...but we can start another if you are up for the challenge -- just you and I. Taking on the world when it says "no." Igniting each others fires, allowing them to burst into a effervescent inferno. Captivating, exciting, unpredictable...capable of the impossible. That is what our love will be like. Flexible, malleable, but never broken. With you I will be living life like it is golden: a life fit for the highest of the high. A life destined for you and I. With you I will feel like I am in tune with myself, simply by hearing everything that is you. Let me hear your symphony.
My insecurities from past relationships usually stop me form really committing to anyone anymore...I want to love.....but I'm afraid.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand where you are coming from, but maybe you should look at from a different perspective! I went through this same problem...for a long time I thought that my weight, my lack of self confidence, and whatever else I could think of was ruining my chances of love...but maybe it was just my fear of truly accepting my flaws. I guess what I am trying to say is, don't give up on yourself! Past relationships will effect you, but let the effect be positive! It may have hurt you deeply, but who says your life ends when adversity comes your way?!? Start by accepting yourself and finishing your own life's puzzle! Do that, and I feel like a lot of things will fall into place for you!
DeleteThank you for commenting and I am sending massive amounts of love your way! <3
I fell in love with my high school sweetheart, and we have been married ever since! You have to be ready to put in the work, and realize that love is not something to play around with. You go ALL IN or you just sit on the bench waiting to be called in.
ReplyDeleteWOW. I always wonder what having a high school sweetheart would be like...regardless, I love your words of wisdom! Love is definitely not just a feeling, it is an ability and we must exercise it and put in the work! That is a lesson I have learned. I now see that the relationships I have made with people are stronger and more durable with more and more effort. (: Also, going all in is perfectly okay when you are using extra chips! I see now that once I figured myself out, going all in means something totally different. I am no longer gambling with my happiness or love for myself, but I am gambling this single connection with that person...not my entire life.
DeleteThanks for commenting and I am sending massive amounts of love your way! <3
DeleteFalling in love for the first time, and having my heart broken changed me a lot. In retrospect, it taught me a lot about what I want, what I need, and how to handle myself in situations dealing with strong emotions. The biggest thing I learned is that you have to remember to take care of yourself, be happy together but never rely on another person for your happiness. You can let yourself go far with someone if you know that if it doesn't work out, you won't lose yourself after.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I have found my life twin..haha You literally explained my life in a nutshell. With how crazy my last relationship was, I originally walked away extremely scarred and confused with my life. Now it feels surreal sitting here all of this time later, realizing that I am okay to move forward! Relationships have this crazy way of making us get into a tunnel vision...nothing else matters, that is your universe, that is your everything. Unfortunately, it is that kind of thinking that destroys people's lives post breakup! We must always remember that we are only 1...and when you add another 1 it equals 2. We can never be 2 by ourselves...so we have no business striving to be something that we physically cannot. I am perfectly happy now with being 1 person, but I am also prepared to become a part of something new. In the words of Beyonce... 1+1=2 hahaha (:
DeleteThanks for commenting and I am sending massive amounts of love your way! <3
Bey always knows!
DeleteThank you for replying (;
I have never been in love but I have always wondered if I will ever find it. I have been in several relationships, but not one of them has brought such feelings. Idk..maybe I'm being a downer, but maybe love just isn't my thing?
ReplyDeletePLEASE do not believe that...EVER! Love is something that you have felt before. Whether it be with your family, friends, etc. you HAVE felt what real love feels like. Don't ever forget that! So when you are in your next relationship, think of what they make you feel...does it carry over? If not, maybe that person isn't for you. But never give up on love! It will find you when the time is right! There is no need to go searching for something that is coming to your exact location. If you keep moving, changing your yourself in order to be noticed, you will never be found. Work on perfecting the person that you are now, and just let life run its course! Love will find you, and I am so excited for the day that it happens! Feel free to let me know! (:
DeleteThanks for commenting and I am sending massive amounts of love your way! <3
I think love is exciting and random and different. It is impossible to define yet satisfying once it is felt. Everyone should experience it!
ReplyDeleteP.s. I think it's awesome that you are doing this! (:
Wow...can I trademark that? haha "impossible to define yet satisfying once it is felt..." I COMPLETELY agree with you on that! I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what love is...and I always came up short. Now I realize that love is something I can create, receive, and direct! Love is at my own hand and it feels beautiful. Everyone should experience this!
DeleteAnd thank you for your opinion! I actually might start doing this more often since I like it so much! (: Thanks for commenting and I am sending massive amounts of love your way! <3