Clarity

Nobody has ever made me feel the things that you have. Maybe that's why I am afraid of you so much -- afraid of myself around you. There is something about you that makes me light up like a million fireflies rustling in the night sky. You are my galaxy and I want to get lost on a star trek with you -- discovering thousands of reasons to shine bright together. And when our stars have lost their spark we will venture back to our center and look out at the beauty we created together and rediscover the reason for this perfection. Perfection -- that is what you give me. Perfection -- countless texts, funny phone calls, ugly moments, irritations, huge smiles, childish giggles. This perfection is why you are my happiness and biggest fear. Just like a bird waiting to fly into the beautiful sky, I hesitate at this beauty because I am afraid -- afraid of falling to ground, just I did before. You were my unfortunate tragedy, my happily never after. But why do I still find remedies for my pain with you? There are billions of people in this world, but why am I so attached to you? I find home in your warm embrace. I find comfort in your voice. I find hope with your love. Relentless waves are crashing into me. Knocking me down, picking me up, and throwing me back into your oceans. And just when I think the emotions that have been tucked away will drown me. You give me reassurance of my safety. It's this tug and pull that keeps me running back to you. This never ending question of will I be okay? It's this seducing adrenaline rush that makes my body want you. It's as if my only way to regain homeostasis is to have you in my embrace. Your my disease and my cure. My addiction and my rehabilitation. As long as you dwell in my realm of consciousness then my reality makes sense. Friendship is what I require from you, but anything more would just be bonus achievements in this game that we are playing. You're confusing beyond belief, and I must be insane for loving you. But if this love's insanity, why are you my clarity?