Excuse my rant. But I feel like a lot of people suffer from the same disease as me. If that's you, you just need to realize when you are running out of fuel. AND PUSH ON THE DAMN BRAKES! Don't push yourself to the breaking point for people that won't give you anything in return. Love yourself immensely before you immensely love others. And be wise in your choices, because not everyone has the same kind of love as you do.
A blog about feeling happy, sad, joyful, blessed, depressed, excited, stressed, basically a gateway for understanding yourself.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Insert Title Here.
Every once in a blue moon, it's okay to be inherently livid with yourself. That's what I am right now. I am angry, furious, pissed off, aggravated -- with myself. Why? I have this disease. It's the cause for the destruction of good people. Sounds intense right? It's called unconditional love. I'm sure you've heard of it. Let's discuss the symptoms: I physically, emotionally, mentally, cannot lose someone who is or once was close to me. No matter what they have done, however they have wronged me, deserted me...I refuse to lose a part of me. That is what I do, I give pieces of myself away when I love others. Close friends, lovers, family. All of them get the same treatment. I dump my energy into them. I make sure they know that when the rest of the world may seem to be against them -- I am here. Cheering them on, with open arms, ready to soothe their pains. Ultimately, I never want people to feel the way that I have before. I want people to know that their life is important, that it has substance. That having them in my life has changed it in ways that they cannot understand. Unfortunately, by doing this so often, I tend to forget about myself. What is it that I want? What do I need? I give so much away with the thought, 'I don't need anything in return'. Please, who am I kidding?! While I do everything out of the pure love in my heart, I sure do wish I could get something back sometimes. Maybe just a little? A fraction? Hell I want people to see that I am struggling too. I want people to realize that I am not a one emotion kind of person. I am not always happy! I feel sad, depressed, ANGRY just as much as the next person. I guess what I am trying to say is, I love and care for people so hard, that I become exhausted from my loss of energy. I just want someone to come and give me a recharge. Just the smallest amount would go a long way. I would just like to have some reserves so I am not just running on fumes all of the time. I would just like some medication for my disease.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment