No Boundaries November: Words (written by Bianca Bejar)

First of all I want to start off by introducing myself. My name is Bianca and I’m a friend of Deme’s here at University of Washington. Although I don’t have any blogging experience, I’m thankful Demetrius asked me to join him on this adventure. Hopefully I can make some good contributions and add a different perspective to things.

For my first post and going along with the theme of No Boundaries November I wanted to talk about words. When I say words I mean both the culturally insensitive use of certain words as well as the power of words. Now anyone that knows me knows I’m pretty passionate about this topic and it’s one I personally try to work against and raise awareness amongst those around me.

Living in Seattle as well as attending UW, I have been blessed to be surrounded by such a diverse population; people from different walks of life, different religions, different countries and cultural backgrounds, different social classes, and my favorite, different sexual orientations. One of the difficulties about being surrounded by such different people is remembering to be culturally sensitive and watching the things you say. As a society we have become so comfortable with casually throwing around certain words and phrases without thinking about how it may impact or offend those around us. Words like retarded, gay, faggot, nigga and phrases like “I’m going to kill myself” or “I got raped by.” Retarded and gay shouldn’t be used to describe things that are dumb or stupid or that you don’t like because you are associating a population to a negative meaning. By using those words to express negative feelings towards something you are saying that being special needs and gay are bad things. Words like faggot and the N-word are words that are offensive to the queer and Black community respectively. Many people believe that because the word is used within those communities that it is ok for everyone else to use when in fact that isn’t the case. The community that is affected by such words has control over it.

Now while the use of these words is offensive and insensitive, there is much more awareness about it. When it comes to the phrase I mentioned before, they are used maybe not more often but certainly with less resistance. Casually saying you’re going to kill yourself is extremely insensitive to those who have struggled with depression, suicidal thoughts, and suicidal attempts. Personally, I think it’s understandable to want to use such a phrase to express extreme frustration or annoyance or whatever it may be but it certainly isn’t acceptable. As someone who has struggled with these types of thoughts I know how difficult it is to hear people take something so lightly when it’s something that’s tearing you apart inside. Likewise, saying “I got raped by…” an exam or a game or a class, it is extremely insensitive to those whom have been raped. Using such a phrase fuels rape culture which is something we should not feed in to.

These words and phrases all belong to the bigger picture of our insensitivity to those around us and the belittling of the impact of words. Many times, we use words to hurt people on purpose or say that we’re just joking but we also don’t always realize how big of an impact it truly to makes. Anyone who has ever been bullied knows that the saying “sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can never hurt you” is certainly not true. Words can be one of the most hurtful weapons and the problem. Words create bruises and scars, just like a stick or a stone, but the problem is that they aren’t always seen. When I was little I was teased and bullied almost every day. I would constantly come home crying but I wouldn’t talk to anyone because I was so ashamed, it got to the point where I didn’t even want to go to school and I honestly hated myself. Many times we focus more on children because it is a huge issue and they are so innocent and don’t like to see them hurt, but it is just as much of an issue with teens and even young adults. Despite the fact that I went through that, as I grew up I began making jokes at the expense of other people. I soon realized I was becoming exactly like those whom I resented. These days, I try to be as sensitive as I can but I will admit I still slip up. My point is, whether you’ve experienced being hurt by words or not, it’s easy to fall into that pattern where you use hurtful words.

Whether it be offensive, culturally insensitive, jokes, or just flat out hurtful and malicious words, we should all try to be a little more aware and attempt to change. It’s definitely not easy and it takes a while to break the habit but just being aware of the impact of what you say is a step in the right direction. I used to use words like retarded and gay all the time, I was probably one of the worst, but as I became more conscious of how it made others feel, I eliminated the negative use of those words in my day-to-day conversations. Stopping yourself from using those words the wrong way isn’t the end though, you have to raise awareness to those around you. Spread the Word to End the Word is a great campaign for the R-word but it is also applicable to the use of the words gay, fag, and the N-word. A little sensitivity and awareness is all you need to make a change.

Thank you all for reading this, I hope you enjoyed it and that it got you thinking a little bit. Please leave a comment and let us know how you felt about the post or me writing on here in general. Maybe you’ll see more from me in the future!  :)